T.O.P Shares His Deep Affection for BIGBANG and Talks About His Role in 'Squid Game 2': 'My Mistakes...'

Choi Seung-hyun, better known as T.O.P, former member of BIGBANG and now an actor, publicly apologized and sought forgiveness for his past controversies, including drug use, which led to his dramatic fall from grace.

On January 15, he sat down for an interview at a café in Samcheong-dong, Seoul, dressed in a sharp black suit. His first media appearance in 11 years, the interview was reported the following day by Yonhap News Agency.

Struggling to find the right words, T.O.P opened the conversation by saying, “This is my first interview in 11 years. I’ve been contemplating the right timing and finally mustered up the courage to do this with a sincere heart.”

After the announcement of his casting in the highly anticipated Netflix series 'Squid Game': Season 2, T.O.P faced intense backlash from the public. Critics questioned his qualifications, attributing his role to personal connections, and some even called for his removal, citing his 2017 marijuana scandal.

Reflecting on the criticism, T.O.P admitted, “I felt like I was once again tarnishing a masterpiece like Squid Game. Honestly, I broke down.” He revealed that he considered stepping away from the project, but the director gave him the confidence to stay. “I realized that the best way to honor that trust as an actor was to take responsibility and give it my all,” he said.

T.O.P clarified the process behind his 'Squid Game' casting, explaining that he auditioned and participated in several script readings before being selected. The show’s script was the first one he received after his hiatus following the 2017 scandal. Speaking about his character, 'Thanos', he shared, “This role forced me to confront my shameful past. It was a tough decision, knowing that this character could forever shape my global image.”

Expressing gratitude for the director’s faith in him, T.O.P said, “At a time when no one was willing to look my way, the director believed in me, and I worked meticulously to prepare for the role.” He even sustained a rib injury during action scenes.

Describing his character, he added, “Thanos is like a jester who lightens the heavy atmosphere of the story. He has some similarities to me, but I intentionally avoided trying to look cool or handsome—I aimed for a goofy, exaggerated portrayal.” Addressing criticism of the character’s over-the-top traits, T.O.P said, “That’s exactly who he’s supposed to be—a stereotypical ‘hip-hop loser.’ I hope people understand that this was an intentional choice.”

The interview also touched on T.O.P’s past with BIGBANG. When asked about blocking fans who tagged him in group photos on social media during the group’s 18th anniversary last year, he explained, “It was painful for me to see photos of what felt like a broken family.”

He clarified, “I have no desire to erase BIGBANG from my life. The members are like family to me, and the time we shared was a radiant and beautiful chapter of my 20s. But seeing those photos stirs emotions that are hard to bear.”

T.O.P also expressed guilt toward his former BIGBANG Members and fans. “I left the group because I felt unworthy and ashamed. I didn’t want to give false hope to fans who still wish for a reunion.” Addressing the possibility of returning to BIGBANG, he said, “The mistakes I made were too significant, and after 10 years of being stagnant, I don’t think I have the right to return.”

He reflected on the dark period following his controversies, saying, “It felt like I was walking a path of ruin. I was consumed by self-loathing and poor judgment, leading to frequent mistakes.”

However, T.O.P revealed that he has become mentally stronger over time. “I wanted to show a healthier version of myself, which is why I found the courage to do this interview today. Moving forward, I will live more responsibly than anyone else,” he vowed.

As for his future, T.O.P plans to continue as a singer and actor. “I’ve been dedicating my time to music, going back and forth between home and the studio. I’ve created a lot of music I want to share, but today is about expressing my apologies, so I’ll leave it at that.”

In closing, T.O.P reflected on his life: “In my 20s, I received overwhelming love, and later, I fell because of my own faults. The years that followed were like hell, but I don’t regret them. Those experiences were necessary for me to grow. My goal is to become an actor who can better express the emotions I’ve lived through.”